Here Comes the Sun

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces 
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here 
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun 
and I say it's all right.

This morning while shelving what seemed to be an ongoing pile of books at the library the song “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles came on my ipod. This song really made me think. The past semester I was not at all myself. I was stressed to the max and I was in no way happy. I tried to talk myself into being happy, and I actually succeeded sometimes… but I wasn’t, not in the slightest. I had positions of power in school. I was seeing the finish line in the distance. And I had a boyfriend. But in actuality I was sad, upset and angry all the time and on top of that an emotional wreck. I in no way was myself. The positions that I had at school were not what I expected at all. And at the end of the semester I was so overwhelmed that there wasn’t a night that I didn’t cry myself to sleep. Although I had so much going for me I felt like I had nothing at all. I was involved in many things and couldn’t do any of them 100%. The relationship I was in was so fake on his end that it made the whole thing horrible toward the end. I made myself believe that it was good but in actuality it was horrible. At the point that I was telling myself that I should be fine with him not calling me for 5 days and not caring I should have known it wasn’t a good thing. Whoever I am with should want to talk to and be around me just as much as I want to talk and be around him. But this was not the case… in fact everything had changed from when we first started dating. And no matter what I said it was wrong and I was stupid for thinking that communication in a relationship was a key ingredient to a healthy relationship. This didn’t help the stress at school… at all!

But today I hear this song and it really spoke to me. Life is going to have it’s downs but after the darkness the sun always comes! I am making a vow to myself right now that I will never let stress get to me as much as it did last semester. I want to promise myself that I won’t date anyone that I am not 100% sure that he will treat me like I deserve to be treated. He will come. And God will protect me from the stress that hinders me so much! The sun will come… and it is coming. 

After the break up I took a day to mope and then surprisingly I was over it. And now I know exactly what I want and I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR LESS! I started out the semester stress free and it has stayed that way (for the most part). I love life and I am so glad that the dark part of this year happened and surly… “Here comes the sun. And it’s all right”!